Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
