i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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