I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
