i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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