he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
