Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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