So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My butt remains clenched, sir.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
