I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
