dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
