she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
