there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
