I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
