And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
