She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize