You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
