Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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