Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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