Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There's even glitter on my cock...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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