At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
