Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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