Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
