I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
