I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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