Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
