I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
