how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
