I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
