tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
