Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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