It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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