think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
A bitchslap is in order.
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