I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
