I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
