I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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