They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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