porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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