Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
