I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why do cheetos always look like penises
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize