what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
