I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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