Where did you get a picture of my penis
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
