If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We are all done wearing pants today
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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