Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
