Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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