someone get that fucking seahorse.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
