Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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