I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
