he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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