Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
