ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
