You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
not ubering you a puppy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
