He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
