I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
