she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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