So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize