he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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