I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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