There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
