That's intense
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
