A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
