Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I see more hoeing in ur future
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