dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
