this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
