We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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