its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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