you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
