i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
