Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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